Don't let the results guide you

It's been a crazy week I've been spot on with my eating but not able to work out as much I would like. Last week I saw great results this week none. It's times like this that you wonder why you have given up all of the good stuff. The sweets, the fries, the bread, the soda and that's just the beginning of what I have dropped from my diet. But then you remember that the headache is finally gone that you have had almost every day for the past 20+ years. No, food isn't as exciting but as more and more good come from giving it up the more it is worth the sacrifices of eating whatever you would like to eat.

The truth always comes out

Today I decided it was the day to take my before pictures. I was in total denial of how much I had gained back. Not quite ready to post the pictures because I want to be able to show progression with it. I have falsely told myself that I hadn't gained that much weight and the scale was lying to me. Well, the scale might be off by a pound or so but not 30 lbs. I know I have a hard road ahead of me but I also know I can do it. It's going to be bumpy and I'm going to have my ups and downs but eventually the path will flatten out and things will go easier. Changes don't happen over night even though we are constantly on the lookout for that miracle cure. It's like my wish for a magical genie. My three wishes are to be skinny, have a clean house, and be incredibly rich. Well, I guess since I haven't found the lamp yet I better start working on finding my own clean house, my own lean, healthy body, and my own riches whether it be money or memories. Hard things build strength. 

Don't give up. Just try.. you can start fresh each day and the more days you start working hard the sooner you will see the results.

If you ever want to sweat...

Take your 13 year old with you to the gym. I don't know if I have ever sweat so much in my life. I couldn't look like a wuss in front of her so I had to kick it up about twenty notches. It's pictures like these that show me how far I have to go. I know I can do it and am well on my way but man it's sad that I let myself get this far away from my goals. Consistency. I know I've said it before but that is the answer to the how. 

Off to bed I go! E kicked my butt and I'm now exhausted!

Sometimes we need a kick in the a$$!!

I've really gotten better with my eating. Working out is the challenge. I'm a busy mom trying to entertain my kids, work a job, be a wife, and take care of myself. Today I found the perfect saying and had to share.I think the hardest part this week is I'm ready to go but because of a dumb ac that decided to die on me and a husband that is out of town I haven't been getting much sleep.Pretty much looks like me these days. By the time I have a second to go work out I'm sweaty and tired and just want to crawl in bed and hope for a moment of coolness which eventually does come around 4 in the morning. We all have excuses. I'm the queen of excuses. I've spent more time coming up with excuses over the last twenty years. I'd be thin if I had just stopped wasting time doing it. 

For those of you familiar with "The Trouble With Angels" this point is shown in the best way Rachel and Mary spend every day for three years coming up with excuses for getting out of swimming. On the day exams came they almost drown. If they had just put the energy into learning they would have been able to accomplish something great. We need to stop making excuses and start taking chances. 

Try something new. Be the best you! Make the choice to do rather than come up with an excuse!

Pizza that is almost really Pizza

My kids wanted pizza tonight so being the mom I am I got everything to make us pizza and decided to try a Flatout Crust.  Not quite as good but for the low sugars, high fiber and fact that it's healthy it's a great substitute. 

Enough with the If Onlys

I don't know why as a whole people don't see the good in themselves. You look at another and think if only..... enough with the If Onlys... I am realizing that it is more important to love oneself than another. It's also one of the most complicated things to do. I grew up feeling like I was never good enough. I thought I was fat. I was incapable of accomplishing anything. I never looked in the mirror and saw the beauty I was looking back at me. Here I am almost 43 still struggling to see the beauty others see. I see myself through better eyes than my beautiful teenage self but still struggle to see what others see. 

All three of my girls are confident, strong, beautiful girls but my 11 year old radiates confidence. "I love you.." "I know!" "You're cute!" "I know." It's not even a question with her that she 100% believes these things about her.  From the mouth of babes. Now let's go out and teach ourselves that we too are beautiful, loved, smart, and many other qualities that we have but don't see. Look deep in the mirror for the person that others see when looking at you. Don't just look at the reflection look deep into your character. Become the person that when someone tells you you are beautiful you say, "I know!"

This is the start of a beautiful future. My tan is peeling, my makeup is smeared, the sadness is behind my eyes, however, that does not define me. If looking deep I see a strong woman who has just finished working out, a mom that loves her children, a friend that cares deeply, a wife that loves madly, and a beautiful work in progress!

It's been a while but I am here for good

I hate that I have been off of my healthy journey for far too long. I know it is absolutely a necessity and yet.... I have spent the last week getting my mind in the right place. It didn't hurt that I tried to put on my life jacket from last year and I couldn't even come close to zipping it.

Yesterday I finally got rid of the debilitating withdrawal headaches from sugar. I know now how much I need to stay away from the stuff. I am so excited to be moving forward. It is amazing how much of a difference a switch in your mentality can make. I will be really working on finding great recipes that are yummy and healthy. Today my family is not here so I have been eating stuff that wouldn't be a hit with them. I had a scrambled egg with ham and mushrooms. I know that the ham is processed and need to move to completely clean eating but one step at a time. 

Remember we all have the choice to eat what is best for us and workout as much as we can. I have realized it is important to find an activity that we enjoy. Here's to many more motivations and updates.

Making goals and sticking to them.

So I have several goals I am working on now. I will run a half marathon in under 2 1/2 hours in August. With this I am starting a running program again. I ran one mile the other day and thought I had a lot longer journey ahead of me than I thought but yesterday I decided I could run 3 miles. It was slow and steady but it proved to me I could make it a bit further than I gave myself credit for. Tough things are becoming easier and I will accomplish the goals I have made over and over in the past and not quite ever believed I could reach. I know without a doubt I can do this.

It gets easier with every day that passes.

It's crazy how much easier it is getting to just say no. Maybe it is because I want it so badly this time. We bought a boat today so I have something to look forward to and a swimsuit to wear. I found a great saying today and it rings so true!

Diet is the key.

As much as I hate it that's the truth. I have been working out everyday for a week and know that that definitely helps but the keys to success are what we nourious our body with. After 6 days of sacrifice I am down 15 lbs from my heaviest. Maybe it's not such a sacrifice after all since it will give me a much better time with my kids and husband. I can not give up I have to continue down this path that I have started without looking back. Eventually I know I will be able to cheat a little without consequences but as far as now it's just not worth it.

I'm not so sure that sacrifice is what I am doing when dinner looks likes these. They are both equally tasting and super easy.

Turkey Chili

Makes 12 1 cup servings

1 c onion

1 lbs ground turkey

3 cups diced tomatoes (or one 28-oz can diced tomatoes)

1 15-oz can pinto beans

1 15-oz can black beans

1 cup chicken broth

2 tbs chopped garlic

2 tbs chili powder

1 tsp oregano

1 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp ground mustard

½ c black olives

Spray a large saucepan or Dutch oven with a few sprays of cooking oil spray. Add the onions and saute over medium-high heat until soft and just starting to brown.  Add the ground turkey; cook over med-high heat, breaking up the meat with a spoon, until cooked through, about 6 minutes. Add the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil over high heat and then reduce the heat to simmer. Cover and let simmer for 20 minutes.

Herb Roasted Chicken

2 tbs chopped fresh basil (1 tbs dried)

2 tbs chopped fresh parsley

1 tbs chopped fresh oregano (1/2 tbs dried)

1 tsp chopped fresh or dried rosemary

2 tbs extra-virgin olive oil

¾ tsp salt

¼ tsp ground pepper

1 3-4 lbs chicken (discard giblets)

5 garlic cloves, peeled

Preheat the oven to 375. Combine the basil, parsley, oregano, rosemary, oil, salt, and pepper in a bowl.

Rinse the chicken inside and out; pat dry with paper towels. Carefully lift the skin from the chicken breast and thighs and rub the herb mixture evenly outside the chicken, under the skin, and in the cavity, breast side up. Place the garlic in the chicken cavity.

Roast the chicken, basting occasionally with the pan juices, until temp is 180. 1 ¼-1 ½ hours. Transfer chicken to a cutting board and cool for 10 minutes before carving. Remove the skin before eating.

I will continue adding delicious recipes as I go through the weeks. Have a healthy fun weekend.  

Wow, it's been a while

I feel off the bandwagon big time. Gaining all that I had lost plus an additional 20 pounds. After all the hard work last time I had promised myself I would never let myself get to that point again. Not only did I fail I failed badly. I am ready to continue this journey that I started and get to where I know I can go. It's a daily battle and I know that I have a lot of hard days ahead of me but as for now I'll take it one slow step at a time.

Confidence is Everything

Confidence is something you have as a child and somewhere it just disappears. I have recently become a real estate agent and with the dedication it takes to get there gained some of this confidence back. It's crazy how something can make all the difference in the world. I now stand tall with my head held straight. I know I have a ways to go to get to my ultimate weight again and am ready to get going on this journey once more. I found my anchor and friend who goes with me to the gym every single day. I hadn't realized how important it is to have a partner in crime but when you know someone is depending on you you don't sleep in a little longer instead you get up and get your workout clothing on and head out to enjoy your time together. The weight will come off but the confidence that I can succeed is even more important. I am so happy to have regained this state of mind once again. 

Fun days are upon me...

I have started many a post over the last week but have had so much going on that they never made it to the save or post position. 

It's crazy how much better a day can go when you have a more positive outlook on yourself and your surroundings. I am starting to find the me I was a few months ago and really am starting to love myself again. The self-doubt is a toxin that I hope to never allow in my system again. Sugar is my toxin of choice and as it exits my body I feel better physically as well as mentally. Sugar is another white drug it's legal but just as deadly. I know that I am going to extreme and not everyone should so that I just have bad reactions to it, however, the amount of sugar we Americans consume daily is scary. It's in everything and tastes so good, but is it worth all the bad that comes with it? Ask me in a month and hopefully I can say I have been sugar-free for over a month. Slip ups happen and I always get the sugar headache when they do but as long as you make the simple changes things will continue to improve. 

I have three months to reach my goals and go on my dream 40th birthday trip! Which I will follow with a family cruise in January. I'm excited to have these trips in place where I know I will look good, be healthy, as well as unbelievably happy. 

Until tomorrow, have a fantastic day and know it is not always easy but what in life worth working for is?

T-116 day one done 116 to go...

So fifty pounds is the magic number for weight-loss. I can do this. I will not quit again. I can't afford to quit again, I want my life back. I have had one heck of a headache since yesterday from not having sugar. This is when I tend to give up on the first day. The withdrawal headaches suck and they last for about a week, but I am continuing to remind myself that after it goes away I stop getting them. It so easy to go back to the norm and so hard to reintroduce the good habits. 

This week I am giving up sugar and soda. This is the top of my list of priorities for the first week. I know I can't give up everything at one time so simple (or not so simple) changes added each week. I challenge each of you to pick one thing to change this week and to build on each week. The changes will also be adding things in.

Today for breakfast I ate my egg bread with a slice of turkey bacon. Healthy yummy breakfast sandwich. 

Today I will be doing a simple cardio since my head is still pounding so much. The little changes will make big differences. A lot can happen in 90 days and I can't wait to see the results at the end of these 90 days.

Tonight's dinner:

Crockpot Lasagna

1 1/2 lbs ground beef/turkey

1 onion

1 1/2 c low sugar spaghetti sauce (less than 5g)

1 1/2 c fat-free cottage cheese

1 egg, beaten

1 c grated mozzarella cheese, divide in half

1/2 tsp Italian seasoning

Brown ground beef with onion in skillet. Add spaghetti sauce and mix with meat and onion.

Pour half of meat mixture in slow cooker. Sprayed with nonfat cooking spray.

In a small bowl, mix together the cottage cheese, egg, and Italian seasoning.

Beat we'll with fork.

Spread half of the cheese mixture.

Sprinkle 3/4 c of mozzarella over cheese mixture.

Repeat layers.

Cover and cook on low 4-4 1/2 hours.

T-117 countdown to 40th begins...

... And with it a new resolve to do better. I have turned into the old me the me I promised I would never be again. It's so easy to eat what you want and not worry about working out. Unfortunately, with this comes all the ailments of not working out. The extreme tiredness, the lack of excitement, the feelings of self-loathing, lack of self-esteem and the list can continue to go on and on. Yesterday I purchased my tickets for San Francisco for my fortieth birthday trip which means the day is in sight and it is time for me to reach the goal I had set for me this year. 

Today I am making Egg Bread to make sandwiches on. It tastes yummy and gives you the satisfaction of bread.

Egg Bread

Divide 4 eggs 

In a bowl mix 4 egg yolks, 1/4 c cottage cheese, 3 tbs Parmesan cheese

Mix together the four egg whites until foamy, mix in 1/4 tsp cream of tartar. When peaks from you will fold into yolk mixture.

Cook on cookie sheet with parchment paper or in muffin tin. Makes 6-8. I also like to make it in a loaf pan and then Cut it like bread.

Cook at 300 for 35-40 minutes.

Today I will be making egg salad sandwiches with it. I know it's a lot of egg but I don't do that often and egg salad sounds super yummy to me.

For dinner I will be making sesame chicken with quinoa.

2 boneless chicken breasts

Salt and pepper

1 tbs olive oil

3 coconut aminos

2 tbs rice wine vinegar

2 tbs honey

1 garlic clove

1 tsp cornstarch

1/2 tsp ground ginger

1/2 c thinly sliced green onions

2 tsp sesame oil

1 tsp toasted sesame seeds

Quinoa 1 c dry quinoa 

             2 c chicken broth

Season chicken with salt and pepper

Heat oil add chicken and sauté about 4-6 minutes stirring occasionally until cooked.

While chicken is cooking whisk together aminos, rice wine vinegar, honey, garlic, ginger, and cornstarch until combined. When the chicken is cooked through, add the green onions and aminos mixture to the pan and stir immediately to coat the chicken. The sauce will thicken quickly. Stir in sesame oil, then remove from the heat and serve over the quinoa.

One of our favorites. It is so yummy!

Why is this so hard?

I haven't been on for a while and I was in hiding from everyone. Hiding the fact that I had gone backwards many many pounds. This past weekend was a good one for me. Boyd and I decided that it was time for the two of us to do this together. I have great support and need to start afresh and am ready to. I worked out today and are well for the first time in a while. Thanks to Nicole and her amazing dressing recipe I made the best salad. Yummy. I can eat homemade salads. I always like salads from places but normally not from home. Here's to a fresh start!

One day of negativity and then l'll be back

I was on such a high yesterday that ended up backfiring and I was definitely not trying to hurt anyone by it I was trying to help. Well, I screwed up and bad. Today has been an emotionally draining day. A few things have surfaced that in all my happiness I had forgotten. I still am a people pleaser and I still feel awful when someone reminds me of what I did wrong. I was in the wrong, but only 98%. Hindsight is 20/20 and if I could go back I would. I have had a broken dam gushing down my face. I am not perfect and I never have claimed to be. As a human we make mistakes. I am allowing myself this one day to feel sorry for myself and then tomorrow continue with the growth and transformation I am working so hard on.

On a positive. I took a picture of me yesterday and felt like I looked good for the first time ever.

I'm back for real...

After getting lost on the road to weight loss I finally found my way back. I gained back 17 pounds which is super frustrating but I had some issues I had to work out in order to get back on the path. 

This weekend we spent with my amazing sister-in-law Nicole who looks amazing and helped inspire me to get going again. I am back and hope to stay on track, but even if I get lost it is not the end of the world and I can always find my way back. 

This Saturday I am running a 5k with an amazing friend and Emma. It is a night run and will be a lot of fun! I love these races and the feeling of accomplishment. 

I haven't posted on here since I ran my half marathon two weeks ago. I had hurt my ankle and not run for a couple of weeks prior. I ran all but the last half mile. I hit a wall on the last hill and just couldn't run another step. I feel like a rock star since I have never run that far at one time before and took a half hour off of my time from the last time I ran this race. I continue to amaze even myself with what I can accomplish. I need to go downstairs and run my three miles, I was hoping the rain would stop but we need it so I won't complain. Life is good and only gettingn better so I will continue to chug along.

Today, I decided that the toughest part for me is coming up with what to eat and then fixing it. It is so much more convenient to grab something at a fast food place unless you decide to cook for four hours and get everything prepared. Here is what I have been doing. I have the top shelf full of proteins the next shelf has fresh veggies cut up for easy treats as well as roasted veggies for meals. Under that there are waters, then hummus which I am going to like;-), eggs followed by apples and other misc veggies! One week of food in one afternoon.

Sometimes things are hard

The last couple of weeks I have detoured. I am back on the right road again and can't wait to see where this journey continues taking me. 

Sometimes you will see you have to go down a little but each step leads you in the right direction. I'm gone down the hill a few times over the past couple of weeks. I don't know what happened to me and I am sure it won't figure it out bit one misstep doesn't mean that I have to fail. It is just an opportunity to grow into the person I want to become. Becoming stronger each time you make a mistake because you realize you can move forward and don't have to continue to move backwards. I am strong and confident I just needed to remind myself of these things again. I love me and though I am a little disappointed in myself I am also proud of myself for climbing back on the correct path. 

Happy Sunday

As I sit here enjoying making a yummy meal that is healthy for the family I realize how good my life is. Things are turning around for the good in our home. We are achieving things that we have been working on forever and I am finally turning into the me I have wanted to be for years. I'm no longer scared of reaching my goals. Why are we scared of such dumb things? My fear was of failure but unless you try you will never prove to yourself you can succeed. 

Today I am wearing a pair of jeans I bought a couple of years ago. I really liked them and decided that I would get I to them some how. When I started on this journey I could not get them passed my calves. Today I was able to button them up and wear them! 

The coloring isn't good since the blinds were open but they fit!!! I am now down 48 pounds and feeling so good! 

Failure is a choice to not try. The person who comes in last at the end of the race beat every person who was not willing to get off of the couch! Remember you will only fail if you refuse to try. One step at a time is all that it will take. Baby steps lead to huge accomplishments.