Why is this so hard?

I haven't been on for a while and I was in hiding from everyone. Hiding the fact that I had gone backwards many many pounds. This past weekend was a good one for me. Boyd and I decided that it was time for the two of us to do this together. I have great support and need to start afresh and am ready to. I worked out today and are well for the first time in a while. Thanks to Nicole and her amazing dressing recipe I made the best salad. Yummy. I can eat homemade salads. I always like salads from places but normally not from home. Here's to a fresh start!

One day of negativity and then l'll be back

I was on such a high yesterday that ended up backfiring and I was definitely not trying to hurt anyone by it I was trying to help. Well, I screwed up and bad. Today has been an emotionally draining day. A few things have surfaced that in all my happiness I had forgotten. I still am a people pleaser and I still feel awful when someone reminds me of what I did wrong. I was in the wrong, but only 98%. Hindsight is 20/20 and if I could go back I would. I have had a broken dam gushing down my face. I am not perfect and I never have claimed to be. As a human we make mistakes. I am allowing myself this one day to feel sorry for myself and then tomorrow continue with the growth and transformation I am working so hard on.

On a positive. I took a picture of me yesterday and felt like I looked good for the first time ever.